Bayani Fernando is the greatest
Muhammad Ali said it first. it was his claim to fame.
but he is already yesteryear. he is now a well respected legend.
today, no one comes close to the poetic callousness and profound pride that only Ali can muster.
and this lone maverick goes by the name of Bayani Fernando.
in my point of view, Fernando is a genuis, a Machiavellian genius. he was well known for transforming an ailing and flooded municipality into one of the most illustrious cities in the metropolis. and he achieved this monumental accomplishment by implementing his projects with an iron hand.
in the past, he had been criticized, time and again, for his unorthodox, and often brutal, methods. there was his well-organized “manipulation” of his legion, a plethora of dim-witted zombies clad in blue who roam the streets for ‘kotong.’ there was also, his authoritarian rules that he institutes to wherever his power can reach. this includes the heckling procedures in garbage collection, the vandalizing of beautiful advertisements in EDSA, the impossible bus route programs, the proliferation of his pink and blue foot bridges, the disgusting male urinals, and his organization’s inhumane demolition campaigns of ‘informal settlers.’
but despite his atrocious methods, Fernando have been very effective in eliminating disorder and instituting order into a chaotic democratic country.
today, there is less traffic in the metropolis. i am a constant commuter and this i have observed, all factors considered which includes, the volume of automobiles and commuters alike.
the streets also more attractive. you can already see it with all the pink and blue eyesores crisscrossing EDSA.
people are more disciplined. now, there are less jaywalkers. this is because of the humongous signages implying instantaneous death to anyone who braved to cross and with all the pink barricades scattered all around, where can one cross. commuters now ride and alight in designated stops. they have learned this simple rule after being smothered with a huge wet ‘basahan.’
all of these absurd but effective measures have kept the most rowdy silenced and tamed. with all of this measures, Fernando has been proven to be highly successful in keeping the mob at bay.
just recently, thousands of motocycle drivers have gone to the streets in protest of another one of his ingenius projects. he tried instituting plate numbers of the back of the riders’ helmets to keep them safe. this he says and thousands of motorists buck to his implementation. aside for the main reason that the ordinance makes tough riders look like sissies, this makes the most mobile of Manila vehicles flagged and controlled.
i believe that people now, after many years of mandatory obedience, have learned to deal with the Machiavellian Fernando. these motorists, in protest, flooded and clogged the streets. because of the commotion, Malacanang said no to his helmet plate number proposal.
but Fernando won’t be stopped. after a few days, here he is again with another brilliant idea. he wants his army to be armed to the teeth. with bolos. truly magnificent and brutal. totally barbaric.
you, my dear reader, may say that all of this is bull. but come to think of it, this bolo-wielding program is genius.
we should not take this program at face value. it is only a decoy.
i believe that this program is, of all things, a bluff. a coy way of saying to the PNP that the MMDA has more guts. the MMDA dudes don’t have guns, long-ranged weapons, to frighten perpetrators. what they have are dull jungle bolos. absolutely crass. it is as if they are saying, “the MMDA are more courageous, more macho and more walang awa.” that ordinance was implemented to give the MMDA more dignity. more face.
if you think of it, how could a MMDA peon hack a rampaging bus liner. he’ll either be sideswiped, railroaded and probably end up mashed along the gutters of EDSA or he’ll just be given more respect.
i really can’t wait what happens after this gig. Bayani Fernando is really my idol. he thinks out of the box. and he really takes giant strides just to concretize all of his plans. he is a ruthless but patriotic Filipino. despite all of his oddball projects and ordinances, i really admire the man. all cheers for Bayani Fernando.